Our foster carer stories - Taylor

Taylor, has been a foster carer for Swindon for six years and is currently caring for a transgender teenager, she shares her journey supporting Charlie through their transition.

"Lola arrived at my home as a shy and timid girl. She never seemed particularly happy and didn’t communicate the way she was feeling but I understand that because, I was a total stranger and being young she probably didn’t know herself what was going on inside."

"We went through a very tricky time where she didn’t like herself at all and said how much she hated herself, but between myself, our social workers and school we got her into counselling. It took a long time but once she felt safe to have a discussion with me, she told me she wanted to change her name and change her pronouns from ‘she/her’ to ‘they/them’. After a lot of thinking they chose Charlie for a name."

"I had never supported a child feeling this way during my many years fostering, although I had been on a couple of courses previously. So, I enrolled on even more courses to help me gain experience and accept advice from others in similar situations. I was worried I may keep slipping up but was keen to learn what I could. It did take a while to not say she or their original name. When I made a mistake, I would apologise and explain that it wasn’t my intention, just training my brain (even though I felt bad inside when I had made the mistake)." 

"When I thought I had totally done it, Charlie decided to change to a male and be referred to as ‘he’, so the process started again. I joked with him about having to train my brain again and we both laughed about it. When I 'slipped up' I could tell he would cringe and I quickly corrected myself. We are now a few more years down the line and I don’t see him any other way now and he is so much happier than when he first arrived."

"He still has a long way to go with his self-confidence but he understands it's a long process and that I will be there for him through it all. I feel he knows I accept him, I feel this because he doesn't really hug, but every so often he will chat and put his arms out to me for a hug, which is so lovely, this melts my heart. I find him very intelligent and fascinating to listen to and I feel privileged that I have been able to share this journey with him and can't wait to see what his future holds."

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