Domestic abuse - help and advice
What is domestic abuse?
Read how to leave no trace of your visit to this page.
Domestic abuse is any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive, or threatening behaviour, violence, or abuse.
It can happen between people aged 16 or over who are, or have been, intimate partners or family members, regardless of gender or sexuality.
Domestic abuse can include, but is not limited to:
- physical abuse
- psychological or emotional abuse
- sexual abuse or violence
- financial or economic abuse
- harassment and stalking
- online or digital abuse
Domestic abuse also includes so-called ‘honour’-based violence, such as female genital mutilation (FGM) and forced marriage.
Domestic abuse can happen to anyone.
The following strategies set out how we are working to tackle domestic abuse in Swindon:
- Domestic abuse and violence against women and girls strategy 2024
- Final statutory housing duty strategy 2024 to 2027
Am I experiencing domestic abuse?
There are many different ways that you can be abused. You may experience one or more of them.
A domestic abuser gains power and control over you to ensure you are intimidated, fearful, and scared, and that you comply with their demands and needs.
Domestic abuse can start at any point in your relationship. It aims to chip away at your self-esteem, self-worth, and confidence. It can start gradually and subtly, which sometimes means you do not realise that you are being abused.
Some victims are never hurt physically, but the threat of violence alone may be enough to keep you ‘in your place’. This can make you question your own judgement and feel unable to make decisions. Below are some examples of what you may experience.
Coercive and controlling behaviour
- Coercive control is a pattern of intimidation, degradation, isolation, and control, with the use or threat of violence
Physical abuse
- Hitting, punching, or slapping
- Shoving
- Kicking
- Burning
- Choking
- Using weapons to threaten or harm you
Emotional abuse
- Calling you names
- Putting you down
- Withholding affection as punishment
- Telling you that you would not be able to cope without them
- Demanding constant attention
Psychological abuse
- Blaming you for the abuse
- Denying or minimising the abuse, or telling you that you are imagining it
- Making you feel like you are going crazy
- Threatening to harm themselves
- Intimidating you
- Putting you down
- Threatening to harm others, including children and pets
- Stalking
Economic and financial abuse
- Having to account for every penny of household or other money
- Being denied access to your own money or money coming into the household
- Not being allowed to work or study, or having your efforts undermined
- Not paying bills
- Taking out loans, credit cards, or mortgages in your name without your knowledge
- Forging your signature
- Making you beg for money
Sexual violence and abuse
- Forcing you to engage in unwanted sexual acts
- Withholding affection or sex
- Refusing to practise safe sex
- Making you wear clothes you have not chosen, or not allowing you to choose your own clothing
- Sexual name-calling
Stalking
Stalking is a pattern of persistent and unwanted attention that makes you feel pestered, scared, anxious, or harassed.
Some examples of stalking are:
- regularly giving unwanted gifts
- making unwanted communication
- damaging property
- repeatedly following you or spying on you
- making threats
Taken in isolation, some of these behaviours may seem like small acts. Together, they form a pattern of behaviour that is frightening and upsetting.
Stalking is a criminal offence. If you report it to the police, they will take it seriously.
Leaving no trace of your visit to this page
If you are worried that someone may see you have visited this page, there are steps you can take to reduce the risk.
When you visit a website, your device may save:
- Your browsing history
- Temporary website data, such as cached files or cookies
You can delete this information from your browser. How you do this depends on the browser and device you are using, for example Google Chrome, Microsoft Edge, Safari, or Firefox.
You can usually find options such as ‘History’, ‘Clear browsing data’, or ‘Privacy settings’ in your browser’s settings menu. Your browser’s help pages can guide you through the steps.
You can also use ‘private’ or ‘incognito’ browsing mode. This prevents your browser from saving details of the pages you visit on that device.
Deleting your browsing data can help, but it may not remove all traces. If you need to be completely certain, the safest option is to access the internet somewhere else, such as:
- a local library
- a friend’s home
- your workplace